11 Meaningful Ways to Be a Better Friend to Your Spouse
Marriage is a partnership, but it’s also a friendship—a deep, meaningful bond that grows over time. While we often talk about love in marriage, we sometimes overlook the importance of being a good friend to our spouse.
Friendship in a relationship isn’t just about sharing chores and responsibilities; it’s about truly connecting, supporting, and enjoying each other’s company.
Let’s look at some practical and simple ways to build a strong friendship with your spouse. These strategies can help deepen your connection, making your relationship stronger, more fulfilling, and resilient through life’s ups and downs.
1. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Strong friendships are built on open, honest communication. It’s not just about having deep talks but being clear, kind, and transparent with each other. When issues arise, tackle them head-on, but do so with empathy and understanding.
Being honest doesn’t mean being harsh—it’s about finding a way to express your thoughts and feelings that strengthens your connection.
Active listening is also crucial. Sometimes, your spouse doesn’t need advice—they just need to be heard. By listening without interrupting or judging, you show that their opinions and feelings matter.
2. Prioritize Having Fun Together
It’s easy to get caught up in the routines of daily life and forget to enjoy your spouse’s company. One of the most important ways to build friendship in marriage is by having fun together. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world when my husband takes the time to plan some fun together or even just tells me one of his many Dad jokes – it really helps to foster a strong bond (and a little flirting never hurts either, right?!)
Whether it’s going on a spontaneous day trip, trying a new hobby, or even watching a favorite show, having shared moments of joy can rekindle your connection.
Laughter strengthens bonds, and couples who laugh together tend to feel closer and more relaxed. So, make time for fun, even if it’s something small like a quick coffee date or a walk around the neighborhood.
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3. Support Each Other’s Personal Growth
While marriage is a partnership, it’s important to remember that both you and your spouse are individuals with personal goals and dreams. Being a good friend to your spouse means supporting their growth, both personally and professionally.
Celebrate their accomplishments and offer encouragement when they’re pursuing something new. Whether it’s a career goal, a personal hobby, or even a fitness milestone, be their biggest cheerleader. Knowing that you have a solid supporter at home can make all the difference.
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4. Create a Routine of Mutual Acts of Kindness
Small, thoughtful gestures can go a long way in nurturing the friendship between you and your spouse. Whether it’s brewing their favorite coffee in the morning, leaving a kind note, or helping out with a chore they dislike, these little acts of kindness show your spouse that you care.
Over time, these gestures build a foundation of mutual respect and appreciation. They don’t have to be grand or time-consuming, but they should be done consistently and with love.
5. Make Time to Connect Spiritually (or Reflectively)
For many couples, having a shared spiritual or reflective practice can deepen their connection. Whether this means engaging in regular meditation, mindfulness practices, or simply taking time to reflect together, these moments help you both center yourselves and strengthen your bond.
You might not share all the same Christian beliefs my husband and I do. But what’s important is finding a way to connect over something deeper. This can mean having meaningful conversations about life’s bigger questions or simply sharing moments of quiet reflection together. Or even just sharing memes and giggling together – marriage needs more belly laughs!
6. Be Quick to Forgive
Everyone makes mistakes, and holding onto grudges can damage your friendship and relationship. When disagreements happen, be willing to forgive and move forward. Forgiveness is essential in any friendship, especially in marriage, where you’re bound to face challenges.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or ignoring issues, but it does mean choosing not to let past hurts define your present relationship. Address issues openly, resolve them, and then let go so that your relationship can heal and grow.
7. Celebrate Each Other’s Wins (Big and Small)
Life can feel like a constant race, so it’s easy to forget to pause and celebrate each other’s achievements, big or small. Whether your spouse finishes a big project at work, learns a new skill, reaches a personal milestone or just has a birthday, take the time to acknowledge it and celebrate.
Celebrating doesn’t have to mean throwing a party—it could be as simple as a thoughtful compliment, a special dinner, or a fun date night. Recognizing each other’s wins creates an environment of positivity and mutual support.
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8. Stay Curious About Each Other
Even after years of marriage, there’s always something new to discover about your spouse. People change over time, and one way to nurture your friendship is by staying curious about who your spouse is becoming.
Ask open-ended questions about their thoughts, dreams, or even how they’ve been feeling lately. Stay engaged in their inner world, and be genuinely interested in their growth and new experiences. This helps keep your relationship dynamic and prevents it from becoming stagnant.
9. Be Patient and Understanding
Patience is key to any lasting friendship, especially in marriage. Life can throw challenges your way, and there will be times when your spouse might not be their best self. In those moments, being patient and understanding can help strengthen your bond.
It’s easy to become frustrated or short-tempered when things aren’t going smoothly, but being there for your spouse through tough times shows that your friendship is built on a strong foundation. Offer them grace when they’re stressed, tired, or struggling.
10. Believe in Each Other and Start with Good Intentions
One of the most powerful ways to nurture your friendship with your spouse is by consistently believing in each other and approaching every situation with good intentions. Trust forms the foundation of any strong relationship, and when you give your spouse the benefit of the doubt, you reinforce that trust.
Life can be full of misunderstandings or difficult moments, but starting with the belief that your spouse has good intentions creates an environment of mutual respect and understanding.
Rather than assuming the worst during disagreements or when something goes wrong, choose to believe that your spouse wants the best for you and the relationship. This positive mindset fosters a safe space where both partners can communicate openly without fear of judgment or resentment.
It allows for vulnerability and honesty, strengthening the emotional bond that sustains your friendship.
When both partners adopt this habit of believing in each other and acting with goodwill, it becomes easier to overcome challenges and grow together. Trust is built daily in these small, often unseen moments where you choose to believe the best in one another.
11. Continue Growing Together
Marriage is a journey, and part of being a good friend to your spouse is growing together over time. This means evolving not only as individuals but also as a couple. Set goals together, whether it’s in your relationship, family, or personal lives, and make time to check in regularly.
Celebrate your growth, and be there for each other when things don’t go as planned. By growing together, you strengthen the bond of friendship that will carry you through all of life’s stages.
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The Takeaway
Friendship is the cornerstone of any successful marriage. By communicating openly, sharing in each other’s joys, supporting growth, and practicing patience, you can build a deep, lasting friendship with your spouse that will enrich your relationship for years to come.
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As always I’d love to hear from you – if you’ve got some advice you’d like to share about how to be a good friend to your spouse let us know in the comments below!
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