Calling all Type A’s
Put your pens down, I repeat, put your pens down, stop checking things off the list for 5 minutes, grab your favorite drink, and read this.
As a freshly minted wife, I’m finding myself at an interesting crossroads in life. And if you’re anything like me—a Type A personality to the core—you’ll understand the challenge that comes with trying to slow down, breathe, and simply be.
Impatience is not something I acquired later in life; I was born with it. I vividly remember my mother letting me grow some carrots in the garden. I was so excited to see them sprout that I couldn’t resist digging them up regularly to check their progress. Each time, I’d pat the soil back down, expecting them to keep growing as if I hadn’t interrupted their peaceful underground life. Of course, those poor carrots never reached their full potential. I had stunted their growth because I simply couldn’t wait!
Toxic Impatience
Fast forward to today, and not much has changed in that department. When I told my husband of my plans to start this blog He kindly asked me to be patient with Pinterest, patient with Google, patient with monetizing—patient with everything because he knew only too well that I can very quickly become fixated on achieving goals and milestones at great cost to my personal life and self-care.
And did I listen? Absolutely. For a good hour at least I reset my heart and endeavored to be content with the process, determined to embrace the journey. But then, like clockwork, that toxic impatience crept back in, urging me to check analytics obsessively, tweak my website design, and dive into 10 new tasks before breakfast.
Misplaced Pride
Taking a moment to self-analyse I do feel that my 20 years in healthcare, working in a hospital environment where delays could literally be the difference between life and death, has made it even more difficult for me to realise when I should slow down.
You get to a point where the more stress you can endure a day, the more pressure that you can put on yourself and the more goals there are to achieve actually becomes sort of addictive, especially as you climb that corporate ladder. It becomes a badge on your sleeve to wear with pride.
When not doing something immediately could send your entire day spiraling into chaos, you learn to act quickly, decisively, and without pause. But now, as a stay-at-home wife, I’m realizing that this approach doesn’t translate well into my new life of home-making and blogging. I really wanted to remind myself why I had chosen to stay home, that I wanted to make a house a home and all that entailed, as well as set up a blog.
I needed to set some boundaries in place to avoid 40-60 hour work weeks as a blogger. But how do you do that when everything in you screams ‘Daphne, You Must Make Haste!‘ Ã la Eloise Bridgerton?
How to make a change.
So how can a Type A adult like me learn to foster patience and create a balanced life? How can we manage the duality of our personality, harnessing our strengths without letting our weaknesses take the wheel?
Here are 15 tips I’ve been working on. They are by no means a magical cure, but they have helped me slow down, breathe a little easier, and find a rhythm that doesn’t leave me exhausted and frazzled by noon. They may just help you too.
15 Steps to Foster Patience and Reset Life Balance
1. Embrace the Pause
As Type A personalities, we tend to fear pauses, seeing them as unproductive or even lazy. But learning to embrace those moments of stillness can be revolutionary. Whether it’s a five-minute coffee break or a day spent doing nothing but enjoying your favorite hobby, give yourself permission to pause. The world won’t end if you stop for a moment.
2. Set Realistic Expectations
One of the biggest traps for us Type A’s is setting the bar impossibly high. We want to achieve everything and do it perfectly. But life doesn’t work that way, especially when you’re juggling a new role at home. I remember calling my husband up (we were long distance at the time) 3 days after first getting the idea to start a blog and asking him about which global marketing strategy I should pursue!!! Setting realistic, achievable goals will not only help you feel more accomplished but also reduce stress.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness might seem like a buzzword, but it’s an incredibly effective tool for fostering patience. Take time each day to focus on the present moment. Whether through meditation, deep breathing, or simply paying attention to your surroundings, mindfulness can help you slow down and appreciate life as it is, rather than rushing through it.
4. Break Tasks into Manageable Chunks
Big projects can feel overwhelming, leading to a sense of urgency to get everything done at once. Instead, break tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks. This makes them feel less daunting and gives you a sense of accomplishment as you check each one off.
5. Learn to Delegate
As a Type A, you might feel the need to do everything yourself because, let’s face it, no one else can do it quite like you can. But learning to delegate is crucial. Whether it’s asking your spouse for help or outsourcing some tasks, delegation can free up your time and energy for what truly matters.
6. Create a Flexible Routine
Routines are our best friends, but they can also be our worst enemies if they’re too rigid. Creating a flexible routine that allows for spontaneity and unexpected changes will help you feel more balanced and less stressed when things don’t go according to plan.
7. Celebrate Small Wins
Type A personalities are often so focused on the end goal that we forget to celebrate the small wins along the way. Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This will keep you motivated and remind you that you are moving forward, even if it feels slow.
8. Cultivate Patience through Hobbies
Engage in activities that naturally require patience, such as gardening, knitting, or puzzles. These hobbies can help you develop patience in a low-stakes environment, making it easier to carry that mindset into more stressful situations.
9. Practice Self-Compassion
We can be our own harshest critics, especially when things don’t go as planned. Practicing self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes or take longer than expected to reach a goal.
10. Limit Multi-Tasking
While multi-tasking can make us feel productive, it often leads to burnout and mistakes. Focus on one task at a time, and do it well. This not only improves the quality of your work but also helps you feel more centered and less overwhelmed.
11. Set Boundaries with Time
As a stay-at-home wife, it’s easy to let your day slip away in a blur of tasks and to-dos. Setting boundaries with your time, such as designated work hours and time for relaxation, ensures that you have a balanced day where both productivity and rest are prioritized.
12. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful antidote to impatience. When you find yourself getting frustrated, take a moment to list three things you’re grateful for. This simple practice can shift your focus from what’s not happening fast enough to what’s already wonderful in your life.
13. Limit Your Exposure to Stressors
If certain activities or environments trigger your impatience, limit your exposure to them. For example, if checking your blog analytics obsessively is making you anxious, set specific times to review them and avoid looking outside of those times.
14. Connect with Others
Isolation can exacerbate feelings of impatience and frustration. Make time to connect with others, whether through a phone call with a friend, a community group, or an online forum. Sharing your experiences and hearing others’ perspectives can help you feel more grounded and less alone in your journey.
15. Reflect on Your Progress
Take time regularly to reflect on your progress in fostering patience and balance. This could be through journaling, talking with a trusted friend, or simply meditating on your journey. Reflecting helps you see how far you’ve come and reinforces the positive changes you’ve made.
A Work In Progress
Now, I’d love to say that after implementing these tips, I’ve become a beacon of patience and calm. But that wouldn’t be true. I fail sometimes—okay, often. There are days when my Type A personality roars to life, pushing me to tackle 20 things at once, and leaving me frazzled by the end of it. But I’m learning that this is okay. In fact, there are times when being a Type A serves me well, enabling me to self-motivate and push through challenging seasons, where others might falter.
You Don’t Have To Erase Your Entire Personality
The key isn’t to erase our Type A traits but to unlearn the unhealthy habits that come with them. Especially if, like me, you’re now a stay-at-home wife and find yourself in danger of forgetting why you chose this path in the first place. After all, what use are you in the home if you’re working 60 hours a week on your blog, right?
As I continue to adjust to this new chapter, I’m reminded that balance is not a one-time achievement but a continuous effort. There will be days when everything clicks into place and others when it feels like it’s all falling apart. And that’s okay. A life in balance is the way forward, not a life of perfection.
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I hope this inspires you to take a step back, breathe, and allow yourself the grace to be patient in this journey. And with that, you can now resume normal business and start checking off those lists again! Let me know how you’re getting on in the comments below!
